My first post for the year is not about the promise of the year or for the month, rather it is about my heart’s despair.
I have the promises of Esther, Joseph, Ruth, and David… Yet I wallow.
I am redeemed, restored and rejuvenated.
But my family…Issues of the family impact my peace.
Have you been there? Have you felt that? I read the promises, but the waiting is tiring me. I see deliverance in one area and see somethings happen in another area or totally a new trial pops up…I see myself in a spiritual roller coaster of high and low. I am afraid to open to some Christians for prayers,…afraid of being judged,…afraid of inability to articulate my difficulties,…
I have trouble counseling my own family members stuck in Rationalism. How to inculcate the spirit of GOD and Knowledge into them. Especially when they point out the flaws of many Christians who claim are righteous. I have no case there.
I point them to see Christ and Cross. They can't understand it. So many questions around resurrection, forgiveness and so on.
Well, Salvation is not my business. I can walk away saying that. But When it comes to family the trials of them impact you. So I went into PRAYERS! PRAYERS! PRAYERS! I have prayed. Prayed like Jonah, Prayed like Naomi, Prayed like Hagar, Prayed like Josephat, Prayed like David….
I clad myself into different Biblical character for that moment and I have banged the doors of heaven. Every being of the heaven knows my shout…knows my heart…
Jesus knows me thru and thru.
I am not perfect. HE knows and I know it. Yet, I have a desire. A desire for the salvation of the entire family. Like that desire of the lady at the well. In the world’s eye, she is not perfect. Yet she has a search for GOD.
let your everlasting spring of water gush thru me…
anoint me, baptize me, cleanse me,...
let a new spirit of understanding fall on me…
Let me rise up like an eagle…Let me run not faint…Let me wait confidently in the land of living not of the dead.
Oh! My dear FATHER, please listen to the cry of my sisters and brothers. Deliver to us! Deliver us into you. Let us, our children and children’s children stand as a testimony for you.
Holy Spirit comfort us, lead us and convict us with your soft voice.
Thanks for listening to this prayer for us, for our family and for our ministry.
In Jesus’s mighty name. Amen!